Previously: The holographic life form known as Hallie traveled to Las Vegas to track down and capture Illusionous, a super-criminal who was using her technology to initiate a campaign of revenge against those who wronged him. To aid her Hallie brought along Lair Legion member Mr. Epitome. The duo managed to ascertain Illusionous’s identity and motive, and now plan to storm his concealed lair.
“Brick Basalt,” the voice from nowhere called.
Basalt, the Granulated Man, jerked awake, “Whuh, wha?”
“Mr. Epitome is in Reno.”
“Ah, ahm, oh, shit,” the silicate-composed criminal rubbed the sleep from his eyes, “You sure?”
“Yes. I have access into America’s spy satellite system, and can track his energy signature.”
Grit didn’t have to be told the implication of Epitome’s presence nearby. He flowed from his cot in an undulating wave of sand, “ ‘Volt, Wake up! They’re here! The heroes are here!”
Googol Volt’s lightning quick reflexes kicked in, and with a thought he enveloped the warehouse with an electro-static field, “All right. Where’s Illusionous?”
“Dunno. Hey, you know who else is with Epitome?” Grit asked is unseen sponsor.
Max Zezkowski gawked at his partner, “Huh? Why the Hell are you asking me?!”
“Wasn’t talking to you,” the sand-casting villain tried to explain, “It’s, ah, forget it,” he doubted the voice was going to stick around to verify his statement as true.
“Go find Illusionous. We gotta figure HALLIE’s coming, at least. That’s what he wants.”
He is not the only one, the voice mused to itself.
*****
Mr. Epitome focused his grey-blue eyes onto the sprawling warehouse, “They may know we’re coming,” he told his partner.
Hallie gingerly navigated her way across the metal framework of the derelict cell phone tower, “How do you know?”
“They’ve put up some kind of distortion field around the building. My X-ray vision can no longer see inside.”
The emerald-skinned android clambered onto the platform where Epitome stood, “Do you think we should call for back-up?”
“Against some special effects nerd and his low rent flunkeys?” Dominic scoffed, “We can take them.”
“All I feel like taking at this moment is Dramamine,” Hallie glanced down the dizzying length of the scaffold and joked, “Was this trip really necessary?”
Epitome bent his legs at his knees, making ready to spring, “For what happens next, yes.”
“The building’s 1.56 kilometers away. The suit can’t jump that far.”
“With help you can,” the Paragon of Power extended his hand to Hallie, “Let’s go.”
She looked pensive, “There must be an easier, smarter way to do this.”
“I’m sure. But the great ones always have to test themselves against their limitations. Hagan and Brown stole from you. They tried to cripple you. Now its time to cowboy up. Show them all they’ve done is strengthen your resolve,” Dominic made a beckoning gesture with his fingers.
“And jumping across the Nevada desert like the Incredible Hulk is going to do that?” Hallie asked dubiously, but to herself she had to admit there was some appeal to what Dominic said.
“OK,” she grabbed his hand so they could make the leap together.
*****
The electro-static field Googol Volt powered around the warehouse had enough juice to it to kill an ordinary man. But against their current intruders, one of whom could survive rocket fire while the other drew her power from electricity, it was useless as a deterrent.
Mr. Epitome and Hallie crashed through the ceiling and into the remains one of Illusionous’s old movie sets (“Night of the Leeches”). Dominic quickly tore one of the phony moss-draped cypresses aside to get a clearer view of their surroundings.
From around the corner of the large room came a surging mass of sand. Grit crashed into the tableau, reducing it to debris. Hallie was knocked to the floor by the attack, but the bulk of the human avalanche that was the Granulated Man was set on Epitome, lifting him up and sweeping him away down the opposite hall. As Hallie jumped to her feet to give chase a thick, purple fog began to fill the room.
“Going somewhere? I think not,” a low, ominous voice chided over the signature strains of the THX 1138 Theater Sound System, “The show is about to start.”
Hallie whirled around to witness the unveiling of Illusionous’s performance, as dozen of the block-headed figures stepped from the mist, each one brandishing a different implement of destruction; sledgehammers, fire axes, chain saws, blow torches, pry bars, each tool primed and ready.
The Illusionouses (Illusionii?) spoke in unison, “Your toys were pathetically simple to exploit, program. No surprise there. Let’s see how you like having them turned against you.”
The circle of identical villains edged closer to the green-skinned woman. Hallie looked to each one in turn, set her jaw, and announced, “Brown, you are such a hack.”
With a thought Hallie shut down the hard light holograms that made up the smoke and the scrum of Illusionous duplicates. Then she deactivated the free-floating cube that concealed the real one’s features, popping it like a square soap bubble.
“Uh-oh,” Milo Brown managed to squeak as Hallie marched up and punched him in the face.
*****
“Got some trash for ya!” Grit called to his partner as he washed into the warehouse’s generator room. Concentrating, the Granulated Man spit Epitome out onto the cold tiled floor, “I kept yer fruity utility belt, jerkwad, so you can’t use that glue or whatever it was to stop me like before!”
Googol Volt didn’t give Dominic a chance to reply to that confusing bit of exposition, blasting the Man of Might with a bolt of electricity.
“Yeah, no tricks this time, bitch!” Basalt assumed a more human form and hammered Epitome with a mail-box sized pseudopod, “No freakin’ chemistry lessons! Just you dying!”
Dominic Clancy ducked under the next blow from Grit and charged, literally plowing through the sand-blasting villain. Grit countered by assuming a more amorphous form and attempting to smother the Star Spangled Splendor.
“I don’t need tricks to beat you,” Dominic grunted as he slowly made his way towards Googol Volt. Grit clung to him futilely, trying to squeeze the life from him with a sand-based bear hug.
“Christ, Brick, keep him away from me!” Volt shouted before casting another lightning bolt at Epitome.
The blast struck both hero and villain, and the latter watched in horror as a significant portion of his body fused to glass and crashed to the floor.
“Stop! You imbecile! I’m losing mass!” Grit snaked an arm out to try and reach the outside of the warehouse and absorb the sand there into his own form.
Googol Volt fired again, and more of Grit’s body fell away to splinter into fragments.
Thanks to Grit’s substantive loss of… substance Epitome was able to pull free and pounce on Googol Volt. The Man of Might didn’t waste any time, dropping the villain with a blow to the solar plexus.
“Got it!” the Granulated Man enthused as his telescoping arm finally found an open door to the outside.
Before he could vacuum up any more granules to replenish his strength Grit was struck again by Mr. Epitome, severing his link to the desert outside. Dominic buffeted the villain with a flurry of punches, knocking him about the room. With his X-ray vision the Paragon of Power observed something in the next room that would quickly put an end to this fight. He began steering Grit towards the door.
“OK! Wait! Hold on! You’re killing me here!” Brick Basalt protested.
“So?”
The next punch knocked the villain through the door and into the center of the vast, vacant room. Grit was barely cohesive, having become a shifting glob of sand. He tried begging for a respite once again.
“Wait! Wait! Time out!!”
“Time’s up,” Dominic corrected, as he walked over to the panel that controlled the wind tunnel and hit the on switch.
The Granulated Man went to pieces after that.
*****
Hallie’s punch busted open both of Illusionous’s lips and knocked out several teeth in an already ugly orthodontia. The villain clutched at his face and stumbled backwards, a geyser of blood spattering his gloves and cape.
“Oh!” Hallie gasped. The emerald android hadn’t meant to hit so hard. She stepped forward to try and help her victim Hallie was again caught flat-footed when Illusionous took up the sledgehammer he had been carrying and struck her in the shoulder.
“Kill you!!” Brown spat, swinging the bludgeon with surprising power. The next blow caught Hallie on the cheek. She staggered and fell.
“Hah!” Illusionous triumphantly raised the sledgehammer high over his head, “Fuck your light shows. I do better work with my own two hands.”
There was a rush of air and color and then Mr. Epitome was standing beside him. He reached over and covered Illusionous’s grip on the sledgehammer with his own.
“These hands?” Dominic growled as he squeezed.
There was an awful crunching sound and Brown started to scream. He wriggled in Epitome’s grasp for several seconds before the Star Spangled Splendor let Illusionous drop to the ground and suck his ruined fingers.
After filing away her holographic counterattack Hallie leaned over to check on Illusionous’s wounds. She accessed the Net for first aid instructions and then turned back to glare at Epitome, “You done? Or do you want to kick him now that he’s down?” she asked over Brown’s whimpering.
“No. Do you?” Dominic managed to conceal his surprise and hurt over the rebuke.
“Just hand me your surgical kit, please,” the android gestured to a pouch on Epitome’s belt that hung over his shoulder.
“I’ll set the fingers,” Epitome replied, bending down on his haunches and prying open Brown’s hands.
“Animals, you’re both animals,” Illusionous cursed.
“Which one of us here murdered two people for attention again?” Hallie shot back, but it was half-hearted. This was not how it was supposed to happen…
Dominic looked up from his ministration of Illusionous, “Do you hear that?”
“No. Wait,” Hallie concentrated, trying to activate her body’s enhanced hearing, “Yes. Sirens.”
“Air raid sirens,” Dominic stood, “What would cause that?”
Hallie infiltrated the SAC’s communications system, “It’s a UFO-a big one- descending from orbit. Reports have it coming down over the Western United States near our coordinates,” she looked at Epitome, “I don’t think this is over.”
The Exemplary Man took hold of Illusionous’s bandaged hands and applied slight pressure, “Talk.”
“I don’t – Agh! OK, OK, Basalt said somebody was going to pay him for the AI when I was done with it. But he didn’t say who.”
“Wonderful,” Hallie murmured, “I’m just racking up enemies left and right,” she started walking away.
“Where are you-?” Dominic began.
Hallie glanced back over her shoulder, “Outside. To see what’s coming.”
After cuffing Illusionous insensate Dominic followed her.
It was dusk on the desert, and the lights from far away Reno provided little illumination. The two stared up into the sky at the enormous, strangely anthropomorphic ship that was dropping to Earth.
“I just lost all contact with the Net. My link to the Mansion is severed too,” Hallie observed worriedly.
“I’m sure they know what’s happening. Hopefully they’ll get here soon,” the Paragon of Power stated, “We’ll need them, I think, against…”
*****
The ship was a half mile in diameter and more than that in height. The tentacles coiled in its undercarriage could extend another mile down, and were composed of the same osmium steel as the vehicle’s armored hull. Five Serious Matter propulsion engines bore it ship aloft. The pair of concave satellite arrays gave the ship a semblance of sentience, an impression that was accurate: a vast, alien unrelenting mind powered the skull-faced machine, driving it ever forward to complete its prime directive: omniscience.
For over a century it had traveled the cosmos recording and eradicating dozens of civilizations. The intellect that commanded the ship had had a timetable for its genocide that it observed to the picosecond until now, until a threat so severe to the Parodyverse had forced it to change its itinerary and to come here, to Earth, to find the information necessary to complete its Grand Design.
That was why Brainattack was hovering above the Nevada desert, focusing its awesome awareness on one lone scrap of technology.
*****
“Brainattack?” Yuki Shiro scratched her head bemusedly, “What the hell kind of name is that?!”
“Kraptonian,” Lee Bookman answered, tapping a gloved finger on one of the Lair Legion’s PC consoles, “Brainattack is a highly sophisticated computer program that travels the galaxy to gather data, which wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t destroy the races it encounters along the way.”
“Why does it do that?” Hatman inquired.
“To keep those civilizations from generating more information. Brainattack is programmed to be the sum of all knowledge, so if it allowed the cultures it logs to continue to exist-“
“It would have to constantly to update itself in order for his collection to be complete,” CrazySugarFreakBoy! theorized with a disgusted shake of his head, “I run into the type at Cons all the time.”
“Er, yes,” the Librarian equivocated, “I suppose there is merit to the ‘rabid collector’ comparison. Brainattack’s methodology has made it machina non grata with the more reputed academic circles of the Parodyverse. The IOL revoked its privileges after it exploded Algernon IV one hundred a forty three Earth years ago.”
“Right. Sounds as though yon Brainattack chappie is long overdue for a proper drubbing then, what?” Sir Mumphrey Wilton harrumphed, “Send out the call, Mister Boaz: all active members of the Lair Legion are to report to the conference room. Miss Shiro, prep the Lairjet. Mister Bookman, if you would, send all of the IOL’s available data on this bounder to Hallie, so she could put together a more detailed briefing?”
The Librarian seemed pensive, “Actually, Sir Mumphrey, I just attempted to download our Brainattack files to the Mansion’s mainframe. The server appears to be down.”
“Uh, yeah, about Hallie, Mumph,” Yuki explained, “She might already be involved in this. Epitome too.”
The eccentric Englishman furrowed his brow, “How so?”
*****
“Las Vegas?! What are Hallie and Mr. Epitome doing in Las Vegas?” Visionary wondered aloud.
From across the armory Trickshot shrugged, “Quickee Wedding?”
“Oooh, Yo is thinking not maybe,” Yo took his/her rapier from its locker and gave it a few practice swings.
“Quickee divorce?” the annoying archer offered again as he selected a suitable assortment of arrows to take to battle against an intergalactic genocidal robot, “They came up with a system for beating the house at blackjack? Who cares? Let’s just hope they leave enough of Chrome Dome for us when we get there.”
Lisa smirked, “Yeah, you notice that, Vizh? Brainattack’s stopped having a mop. Maybe its time you yielded to the inevitable and – “
“Why haven’t you summonsed Hallie back here?” Visionary interrupted the Amorous Advoctrix’s dig as his own hairline, “Er, and Epitome too.”
“Because they’re both part of the Legion, and one of the jobs of a Legionnaire is being where the action is,” Lisa said coolly. She picked up her coiled bullwhip and sauntered for the door, “Now are you coming to help, or do you plan on sticking around here and fussing like an old woman some more?”
The possibly fake man responded to her challenge as she expected: he set his jaw, muttered something about Miss Waltz’s moral centre (or lack thereof), and followed.
*****
Brainattack’s ship launched its first attack while it was still four miles above its target, sending out a volley of drop pods in a manner akin to a man spitting out watermelon seeds. When the pods struck the earth they discharged their cargo. Scores of combat droids stumbled out into the Nevada desert and began charging.
Hallie watched the wave of robots scurry over the dunes towards them, an impressive looking swarm of giant preying mantis/Erector set hybrids, “Maybe we should, um, fall back?”
“You should, yes,” Epitome agreed, “Download your consciousness into one of your Holographic Emitter Drones and seek cover.”
“Nope.”
The Man of Might gave Hallie a disapproving glance, “Now is not the time to be stubborn.”
Hallie stood her ground, “I’m being practical. If we separate it will be that much easier for Brainattack to get what he wants. You don’t think he doesn’t have the technology to track me in my HEDs?”
“Fine,” Epitome grunted, “Just stay behind me.”
Before the young woman could protest the Star Spangled Splendor stepped in front of her and took the charge of the first robot and decapitated it with a chop of his hand. He used its remnants to bludgeon the next attacker. He took that tangled mass of technology and hurled into more of the encroaching machines.
Hallie picked up the head of Epitome’s first victim. She used her body’s own enhanced strength to pry away its casing in search of its CPU. Perhaps, Hallie thought, if should hack into the creature’s software it would be possible to shut down Brainattack’s entire army.
The skull’s segmented eyes sparked briefly, and several whip-like filaments unspooled from its neck. The coils lashed out violently, piercing Hallie’s skin and eyes, subjecting her to the actual intentions of her enemy’s assault.
Brainattack’s probes took control of the software that ran Hallie’s android form. It cut her off from all stimuli, leaving her trapped, blind and seemingly alone.
“Hallie!” Epitome turned to see the woman’s plight. He was overwhelmed by several of his foes, as they tore at his body in a more conventional attack. As the Man of Might disappeared under a scrum of the robots, their creator, the one that held sway over Hallie’s body, commanded her to march towards a waiting pod ship so it may get at what it truly sought: her mind.
To Be Continued
cpe-24-160-18-76.sw.res.rr.com (24.160.18.76) U.S. Company
Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows XP (0.12 points)
